Minister of National Security, Dr. Peter Phillips addressing key private sector leaders and reporters at the Hilton Kingston Hotel last night, said that this year’s latest installment (in a string of over a dozen failed attempts within the last 12 years) of a crime fighting initiative is in progress, and has been dubbed, “Operation Kingfish”!
Dr. Phillips theorizes that the spanking new name is suffice to instill confidence in the citizens of Jamaica that with the alarming death toll caused by criminal gangs, some, if not all of us will actually have a chance of living through the last quarter to see the blessed new year. Noting that the death toll is now officially at 1,161, the most ever recorded in the nations history, Dr. Phillips was certain in his mind that the sudden initiative will derail the performance based embarrassment the party has been facing for the duration of the party’s leadership.
Squad & Year Implemented
Echo Squad: 1976
Ranger Squad: 1980
Eradication Squad: 1981
Area Four Task Force: 1986
Operation Ardent: 1992
SACTF (ACID): 1993
Operation Crest: 1995
Operation Justice: 1995
Operation Dovetail: 1997
Organized Crime Unit: 1998
Operation Intrepid: 1999
Crime Management Unit: 2000
Organized Crime Investigation Division: 2003
Operation Kingfish: 2004
Dr. Clueless stated that brainstormed names as, “Operation Incompetent”, “I-.B.A.D- Innocent Bystander Assassination Division”, “The Unorganized Bungling Idiot Squad”, “Operation Hopeless”, and “A.C.I.D II - Allied Cumbersome Inept Department”, where all revoked as they shed too much light on public thoughts of previous crime fighting initiatives or surfaced matters that needed to be kept on the down low.
Learning from past experiences, not to head up task forces, with flamboyant, deranged killing psychopaths (i.e. Senior Superintendent Reneto Adams), a virtually unknown will be taking over this years mandate of breaking the back of organized crime. Assistant Commissioner Glenmore Hinds will be the Governments manageable puppet- a 27-year veteran of the Jamaica Constabulary Force.
Passionately trying to avoid ‘Reneto-like’ public relations disasters, the government before approving his position, ordered every test short of DNA scrutiny, which included a detailed background check, physical, urine and stool samples, unfathomable cavity checks and rigid psychoanalysis.
For those who don’t remember, Senior Superintendent Reneto Adams was the former leader of the now redundant Crime Management Unit (CMU), which was disbanded by Police Commissioner Francis Forbes last June after failure to meet objectives of stopping dons and deportees involved in Crime. Instead of stopping the said people, Reneto is claimed to have targeted them in the scope of his rifle instead; thus positioning himself in a number of controversial killings and being subject to high profile investigations.
Jim Screechy
2 comments:
Do YOu think Adams was innefective?
I think he was effective but just not for a manor fitting this world. Maybe it would be fit for a hollywood movie, filled with corrupt , vigilante cops that roam the night in leotards and cool gadgets..but for JA..what the hell am I talking about...JA is like a jungle warfare..his methods might have proved effective...but I guess he just didnt have the smarts NOT to get caught. But I cant complain huh? Which squaddie in JA IS smart???
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