Uppity Yardy Female: any female, post- Portia winning the election, that has a revamped sense of 'feminine pride' generated by the actuality that a lady originating from the working class of Jamaican society has elevated herself to the elite heights of a Country's Government.
Ok so Portia won. The mystique has caused somewhat of a feminine uprising Yardy style. There seems to have been the start of something called “The Sista P Woman’s Nationalist Front”- No pun intended. Her victory has done more than just make history as
During my daily routine tasks of being “just some dude”, unfortunately I have come across the unsolicited wrath of such females. They range from scabby security guard to corporate elites. One thing for sure is that despite their occupation, their self esteem and confidence have reached bloodthirsty, castrating- feminist proportions- which poses a near physical, emptional and verbal threat to Jamaican males.
1.Male/Female/ She-He @ Burger King,
Unfortunately, for the sake of my mental health, I came across this human deviation while getting food. This attendant, while taking my order seemed to be going through a personal dilemma in his/her life, but seemed to draw strength from Sista P’s success. He/She while taking my order gave me an attitude while I merely fumbled around in my wallet trying to find my debit card. For some reason unknown to me, I guess he/ she thought I wasn’t important enough to be waited on, and started looking from side to side in disbelief and disgust as I was baffled as what to choose on the menu.
Sorry Mr. /Ms. Important Burger King cashier for taking time out of your highly stressful job of pressing buttons on a keypad, and salting the fries, to attend to me, the dude that helped pay for those ghastly floral shirt you and your cronies wear.
2. The absent female employees of
I live in the
Post elections, upon entering the premises, I have almost always come across this image. Not one subservient female in sight as I walked through the front doors of the restaurant.Even after the door squeaks open, they still wait for you to bang on the rusty bell, placed on the counter before they come out to take your order.
3. Feisty Cashier at office compound tells me I can't bore in the line, even if I pre-ordered my food.
Where I order my lunch, there are one bag of grease-laden, smelly college students, and I sure as hell am not fighting through a lunch line, like the days of high school , only to get my fancy office attire all messed up. To prevent this I make sure to call the cashier and give her my order.
All of a sudden after Portia winning, I man have to stand up in line JUST to pick up my order. What a brute! I also have to find exact change quick, quick so as not to hold up the line! :S
4. Miscellaneous walk foot Gas Station Attendant @ Texaco in Barbican (foot of Jack’s Hill)
This uppity bitch had the nerve to ask me if MY 1993 Toyota REALLY used 90 Octane?? What the hell is she trying to say- that my car is old and only look like it can use 87 octane??
After I put her in her place she ALSO has the nerve to walk of and say to her grease laden colleagues how,”Everytime da bwoy come here, is pure $100 gas him a buy!” Not only do I NOT see this woman driving to work in her OWN car, she has the nerve to talk down to me because a nigga is on a budget? Who does she think she is?? I hope there's a gas leak at that station and she bites the dust like Joan of Arc did- on Fire!
8 comments:
LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!
Being a first time reader I most say I was blown away. However, this exemplifies that writing is truly an art. Sometimes we need to defocus from what is being said, to how it is being said. This is excellent creative writing. In addition, removing the skin of conventionality is well appreciated. Very few things in our society gives us a shock to the system. We have turned into ‘seen it’ and ‘done it’ society. So when something or someone comes along that makes you have to revisit our passions and opinions, it should be commended. WICKED WRITE UP!! Looking forward to the next.
Ah bwoy... as usual always finding new and funny ways to speak out against my kind... (when is the bashing going to stop!!!).I am dying for the day when u write something bashful about your own sex. With all that said I still think this article was a good read, keep it up!!!!!
Myth: Women have reached a bloodthirsty, castrating – feminist proportions – which poses physical and verbal threat to Jamaican males.
I’m appalled. Undeniably, Portia winning the election has brought about some sense of ‘feminine pride’ to all women, irrespective of their class. Finally, women have now stepped outside of this belittling world that man has governed or lack to effectively govern thereof. Women now have the presence of freedom, the motivation of innovation, and the pride to strive. Not to just wait on men ‘just some dude’ – who in the midst of the hot day decide to fumble around his wallet similar to the simple dude - Omar who fumbles around in the public’s wallet. No wonder countries are in the state they are in today – being sheltered under the “umbrella of dumbness”. After all, how long can we continue to teach the useless?
My heart goes out to the few males that sense this growing feminist movement as a ‘near physical and verbal threat’. Our apology, but feminism is not a tragedy, it should just be kept far away from men. You shouldn’t even be allowed to walk the streets without your leash. Who’s walking who here? Men, their dogs? Or WOmaster, their men? Who’s running the country here? Just some dude or Sista P?
Is lang time Jamaic’n males have been marginalized and I can just imagine in your desperate attempt to find solace to this reality you point blame to the growing confidence in ‘The Sista P Woman’s Nationalist Hope’. ‘If you’re some kind of alien and you watch a lot of television (or even a little bit of television), you’ll be presented with one thing: men are lazy idiots who can’t get anything right the first time unless they’re gay — and the only way they get to have sex is with money.’ - Dick Masterson
Truth: Women have to work extra hard to succeed at anything.
In actuality, men simply have to show up to be successful. Take dating men. Dating is similar to interviewing for a job. That is about the most important and meaningful job a man can ever hope to have or aspire to. Men have to tout themselves, list their accomplishments — often more times than is necessary as if women are half deaf. In effect they do nothing. The real work is done by women, trying to make you look smart and still look damn cute doing it. Thanks to Sista P women more openly express that just being woman means success – ranging from ‘scabby security guards to corporate elites’.
This is applied universally – unless you’re a man, of course.
where do these dumb feminists get off foaming at the mouth like this? streeups.
Check the front page of the jamaica observer http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/news/html/20061018T020000-0500_114186_OBS_GOV_T_STANDS.asp
hold on there...$100 worth of gas?? LMAO
Apparently you just landed from some other planet, or you would have known that no justification is needed for you to get bad service, have people faa's in you business, and be the recipient of facety comments from men and women in Jamaica. What this is blog is about is just your profound ignorance, unvarnished sexism with a drop of sensationalism. Again, Jamaicans don't need much help in those areas, so I don't know what the point of this is. Jackass that you are, you are certainly entitled to feeling that the blogosphere is a perfect place to spout your crap. Hopefully, people with a bit of sense and the ability to evaluate information will see it for what it is. I wouldn't even bother to explain feminism to you, it would be a pointless and one-sided lecture.
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