Friday, February 17, 2006

Ask Jim Screechy!

Have ANY question you would like to answer?
ANY question? Why use a web search or flip through a dictionary when you can ask Jim Screechy.

I offer personalised detailed answers to ANY question that you may pose whether it be solutions to everyday questions that are boggling your mind, political questions, social questions, I'll answer them free of cost!

To hell with Ms. Cleo and those psychic wannabees! I'll give you the real deal, straight up!


Just leave your question in the form of a "comment" and I'll be sure to reply!

(FOR EACH QUESTION POSTED, THERE WILL BE A $500.00 DONATION TO THE LISTA GILBY SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF, SO DO YOUR PART TO CONTRIBUTE!)

Holla!

J. Sheezy

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

My question: Is your promise to donate $500 to Lista Gilby School for the Deaf a hoax since there is no school with that name.

It is - Lister-Mair Gilby School for the Deaf. I am hesistant to accept your donor status since you don't even know the name of the school.

Jim Screechy said...

CONGRATULATIONS!! You did it! The wrong name was purposely put up to encourage civil initiative. You are a responsible and commited citizen of Jamaica! Part of the idea was to reward those who are practical & careful citizens, wary of hoaxes and other blah blah. And as such a $500.00 contribution shall be disbursed. Go Team Jamaica!

I'm not actually the one donating the $, a well know Jamaican distributing company is.

Anonymous said...

Question: Would you go to Carib to watch Broke Back Mountain given the risks involved?

Jim Screechy said...

REPLY:- BROKE BACK MIUNTAIN
That fishery movie? Are you saying the risks involved is being mistaken for being a part of Gaydom?
I would watch the movie. I like controversial films, but I would make sure it would NOT be a 'balls flex' and that during the movie I would engage in vigorous sexual activity with my female companion as well as groping her heavily upon leaving to ensure my safe passage upon exiting.

Anonymous said...

Whats the price of rice in Japan?

Jim Screechy said...

REPLY: PRICE OF JAPAN RICE
The price of rice in Japan in JPY (Yen) is extremely cheap as it is a popular food staple there bitch.
For one pound of rice it costs exactly 3 yen.
If you want it wholesale, and God knows there is alot of wholesales stores in Japan- 20 Yen. Konichiwa!

Anonymous said...

This comment has nothing to do with your posting about teh school for the deaf and your scam! However it is a suggestion of something to tackle. I am here in NY and I heard that there is a debate on the movie "Brokeback Mountain" that is content (homosexuality) is not fitting for the jamaican environment. This could be something to discuss, I am sure you will get lots of reviews and different outlooks.

http://www.jamaica-star.com/thestar/20060222/news/news1.html

Anonymous said...

The world is round because everything happens everywhere. Everything comes back full circle. History repeats itself, with improvement to be fitting for the 21st century. Men and women dont change, they just make body alterations.

Anonymous said...

Why does a man feel that because he use to have the job of pleasing a woman, she is always his, even after they have moved on? Whappen, him caan get the pic seh him lose di wuk? Him FIRED!! WHY?

Jim Screechy said...

REPLY: "Brokeback Mountain"
It's a movie. Just because you watch it doesnt mean you're in favour of Gaydom. I can say that alot of guys I know used to watch "Oz",not because they liked watching minorities engage in gay rape/sex, but for the superb storyline that HBO delivers in most of it's original content. "Oz" was also about survival, and guys like to watch anything having to do with survival, beating the odds, etc., hence our love for war movies. A good script is a good script; Gaydom included or not. Brokeback Mountain won some awards eh? That means I'll be watching it. "The Crying Game" was also a good film back in the early 1990's.

If there is really debate about the movie not being fit for Jamaican Audiences, then I am once again convinced that the country is backward. It's the same thing they said about the movie "Amistad", but yet huge swarms of different high school students were rallied to Carib in order to watch it FREE of cost.
That day should go down in Jamaican School History as "Amistad" day.

In light of Govt's current review of local Gay Rights,maybe we might soon hear,that JFLAG has sponsored the movie free of cost for anyone who wants to watch it. If that ever happens I won't be suprised if they are issuing rainbow T-Shirts at the entrance.

REPLY:"The world is round..."
Wise words homie. Are you part of the Rainbow Coalition? I was with you up to the point of saying, "men and women dont change they just make body alterations". Sounds like you're contemplating getting a sex operation and in need of advice? Yes? Well I say dont do it. Why? Have you ever seen the line leading into a female bathroom versus a males bathroom? Standing and peeing rules!

REPLY: "Why does a man..."
He suffers from what we Jamaicans call, "Watchi Pooms" syndrome. This is the uneasy withdrawal from a female due to intimate relations. No, he will never get the picture that he has "lost the work" as it's in mans nature to be territorial. I suggest boning some other dude and sending him the pics; this will send him a direct "Get Lost " message to alleviate his clinginess. I also suggest you sending me the pics first so I can review and approve them as being sufficient enough to get the message across.
He can also be clingy because he still believes that he's the one that took your virginity. Based on your grammar used in delivering this message, I am lead to believe that you are one nasty sex fiend who told him that you where a virgin in order to get him in the sack quicker. Smart move, but know you have this problem on your hands. Enlightening him that you, have been "tekkin man" for a while now can also be suggested as a remidy.

Anonymous said...

LOL...i was not refering to getting a sex change but thanks! The point has been made...nothing really changes...

Anonymous said...

ok say you meet a girl right she excellent, prefessional, intelligent sweet everything, then u start look her, but before u mek any big moves, u meet a next girl u think she's hotter then the first one, but not as professional or intelligent, mek big moves and get through. News reaches to the first girl but u dont care cause is not like she was your woman or anything and you think u have a better catch. Shortly after you realise you shoulda stuck with the original cause the second one is a gold digger lookingfor coat tails to hang on to and she wears too much makeup...is all hope lost with the first girl?

Jim Screechy said...

Nothing to feel bad about bro, guys normally make this move when they believe they can get a better 'bang for their buck'.

All isn't lost with the 1st chick. Let's say you went to TGIF with your cousin to meet her for the 1st time and afterwards she thought you where a cool guy- you can still hit it, or try.

Nothing wrong with choosing the other girl because you RESPECTED the FIRST too much to do all those nasty things to.

Now that you're done wearing 'that' out and ready for that dark chocolate, T-Square wielding professional-wifey, all you gotta do is take a looong trip to some loooong mountain and holla. Yes? No?

If you lack the coconuts to do that, try the daily MSN messenger grind of smart comments back and forth-hopefully that will aid in helping that dark juicy black-a-chinno berry to burst with fruition.

Nadya Dee said...

My Question: Dear Jim Screechy is there really a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?

Jim Screechy said...

Re: Pot of gold question

Thanks for this question, it poses some serious issues with the world's media. Contrary to belief, there is no pot of gold at the end/beginning of a rainbow. This is a plot formed by gaydom (first starting in Ireland) to get young boys and girls to venture forth and look for the end/beginning of the rainbow- normally, seemingly located in the forest or some obscure locale.

At these points, there would be a gaydom post. Unfortunately, it's said that this has led to the disappearance of many kids.

Speculation is that the children are first encouraged to denounce their heterosexual life. If they refuse, they are sodomized and murdered.

Nadya Dee said...

lol...thank you oh wise one...

Next Question: Dear Mr. Screechy,
How many bitches does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Jim Screechy said...

Re: How many bitches does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The malevolent ambiance radiated by one bitch is enough to efficiently operate a jackhammer- which digs up asphalt! With that in mind it would take...7.63% of the PRESENCE of a bitch just to screw in a light bulb.