Fassy of the Year

Fassy or Fossy (fossy ’ē), n. pl.-ies. - individual deemed to be unsupportive, pessimistic of methods and logistics of another person . “Bad minded” personality and criminal intent can be also factors of subject. Also, just being a plain out meanie and grump! :-(

Hello minions, there is someone fighting out the struggle for free speech, opinion, and rhetoric!

If you see this vagrant please wipe his window at a stop light, beg him for money or slash his “Right down to the wire” tires. (No I’m not talking about the hit Kanye West song)

Subject can be seen frequenting the area of Kingston 5 as well as that there swampy part of Portmore via the causeway bridge. He is sometimes hidden under the inexpensive disguise of a raggedy, sun burned, blue New York Yankees baseball cap that has seen better years…about say seven years ago! If that disguise evades your person, you can unquestionably identify him driving on the road. Firstly you will be duped into believing an old dump truck is approaching, but on receiving a confirmation visual, you’ll realize that the truck sound that you heard approaching is non other that the engine of the jalopy heap that he somehow relies on to get him from point “A” to “B”.

Not only has he been against the Jim Screechy foundation; in earlier years he had proved extremely unsupportive and critical to anything not originated solely by his person.

After which, while seeing the success of your plights, not to mention the mad groupies rushing you, he will attempt to rip-off your creative ideas in the guise of coming up with the same exact idea that you had. These attempts although similar in nature will reap the spoiled fruits of unoriginal behavior and soon will have amassed internet cobwebs, six-legged creatures and most compelling of all- ZERO COMMENTS on each and every article posted on his blog, resulting in the haunting of his psyche and most embarrassing- asking The J. Sheezy for creative help! Punishment is not yet served!

If you capture the individual you will be rewarded a meet and greet with me, where you will be expected to buy my person a tasty meal. You may or may not be allowed to come in contact with me- that decision is solely dependant on the presence of you owning real live pear shaped boobs and a killer ass, after which the decision will gravitate to a “Hell Yeah!” (Disclaimer: No hermaphrodites, sex change patients need not apply!)

One photo opportunity is included in the deal, all else will have to be paid for and those proceeds will be put to a worthy but expensive cause- visiting my friends in Portmore.

Chiney pinches, Noogies, gut punches and constant kicking in the ass are acceptable as punishment. Theft of the tarnished silver chain he holds dear to his heart, found around his neck is suggested in order to bestow extreme emotional distress. But please don’t kill him- he’s my best friend.