Live Chickens Fly, But Dead Chickens Will Fly Higher!

Jamaica's largest producer of poultry has clucked that chicken prices will fly high over the next week or so.

Christopher Levy, rich snob of poultry operations of Jamaica Broilers Group, clucked that prices and chickens will fly sky high to increase to as much as 5% in two weeks mash.

The increasing price of corn is stated to be the cause of the oncoming price hike, but specialists in the industry have devised a plan to solve the problem. Shytie Undies, head of operations on the company's production pen, and hopeful individual for the president post, has initiated a revolutionary experiment to recycle corn. "Anyone human who has ever ate corn knows that at least 25% of that said corn consumed comes back out undigested in poop. Consumers shouldn't have to pay more for good quality chicken just because the price of corn has gone up. Chicken meat is the most popular protein source for Jamaicans, so let's recycle the pooped corn and kick back that savings onto the consumers!"

There has been speculation about these methods of feeding undigested corn to chickens, but Shytie Undies claims that anyone who has ever been to a mass production pen for chickens should note that the ground is littered in feces anyway. " If you really look good, 75% of the ground full of chicken shit, and when time the chickens get fed, sometimes the feedin' drop on the ground. You think the chickens are smart enough to wait and pick carefully at what's on the ground when them trying to eat? "