Tuesday, December 26, 2006

My Seed Is My Own!

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You know you're getting old when a bunch of college friends are falling into the social trap of marriage or producing babies.

Not that I haven't been propositioned a few times for the ‘bliss’ of the old ball and chain routine, but the circumstances were all a bit peculiar. The females were more interested in commissioning me for my essence in order to produce the perfect offspring. In their eyes, it seems, my mojo, but the lack of my actual person, would contribute to producing the perfect child, as I am of good build, lacking in excess fat, smart, amusing, and I have “nice eyes”. There was one particular female, who a bit on the plump side, raved constantly about not wanting a fat baby- that being the main reason my seed was in high demand.

As females get older, it’s quite obvious that they have a yearning to get knocked up. Unfortunately for them there is not enough males in their age group that are willing to facilitate such actions, as for men, the older they get the less likely they want to knock a female up. As each year passes and another conquering notch is added to a man’s belt, he realizes that this mating routine can be followed for the rest of his days. Why limit yourself to a measly vagin-a-day, when there is a fruitful abundance of naïve, impressionable young lasses, fresh into University that need some father like guidance in the areas of love. If all middle aged men were to be wed at 30-35, who would be there to guide the 19 year old females in the becoming of age positioning orders of, “ No honey, turn around...that’s right, arch your back and raise it up for daddy now...” ?

For some reason the media normally portrays males commissioned just for their sperm, as packers of fudge (fudge-packers). I’ve never had the slightest inclination to take part in such activities. It’s probably a period of dementia that’s experienced by females as the biological clock ticks. Sperm hungry, and wanting to nurture they're out and about sizing up any male they're close to for a ‘smalls’. This eagerness to ‘spit one out’ probably can be linked to all the cases of teacher on student sex that’s been taking place. Unfortunately I never got to experience that....bleh!

6 comments:

The Seeker said...

LOLOL!!!!!!!!!
Would say there is some truth to this but that may get me in trouble so I wont.
LOLOL

Nadya Dee said...

I find you intruiging and disturbing...nevertheless I agree wholeheartedly with your point. However how do you propose these men playing "father-roles" if they don't first become one? hmmm...puzzling...happy blogging though=)

Jim Screechy said...

They will learn fatherly roles by offering guidance to naive young girls entering college from high school. Such females are yearning for a little guidance and maturity...and some pocket $ as well...

Nadya Dee said...

I guess I totally missed that boat...being consumed with my own education and all....damn it! Maybe when I go back to do my Masters....

Jim Screechy said...

Unfortunately, pursuing your masters denotes you being smart. That is not a requirement of men seeking fatherly roles. Most JA men want someone who will depend on them, and a female seeking higher education is deemed to be /get too uppity in the near future.

Try another strategy in acquiring a sugar daddy...

Nadya Dee said...

oh dear, my sarcasm potion must be wearing off...
Anyhoo, I'll bear that in mind the next time i'm propositioned by an elderly gentleman: brains-bad, short skirt- good.